i have no idea...how to cut hair...

yesterday as jaron was brushing his teeth, i looked at the hair in his eyes and i just became possessed.. i thought, i can do this.. how hard can it be.. well..as you can see.. i really messed it up. i don't know what the hell i was thinking cutting his bangs so short.. i mean, it's girly looking.. *me crying* i had to stop myself from trying to fix it, or even attempt the left side.. "mindy, just put down the scissors and walk away"
he looks like a convict. my poor child.
(it has since been fixed by a professional)

i'm tired...

i'm tired of blogging, i'm tired of the heat, i'm tired of feeling tired.
We just put jaron in his new "big boy" bed a few weeks ago, and it has really taken it's toll on me. When jaron was born, he slept in a bassinet by our bed. When he was 5 months old, we tried to put him in a travel crib by our bed, (i couldn't bear to put him all the way in his nursery) and that didn't work, he woke up every few hours... so, one night, out of pure exhaustion, i put him in bed with us, and he's been there ever since. i never thought i'd be a co-sleeper, but, it worked for us. i like to sleep, and having him there in bed with us, meant i didn't have to get up. (lazy sounding huh??) and also, i would start to have anxiety attacks if i even thought of putting him in a room away from us. our parents both thought we were crazy to co-sleep with jaron, but, haha, he's our child and we get to do what we want!! ok... that sounded a little childish, but, it's the truth. anyway, now that he's two (and getting so big) i decided that i needed to just get over my anxiety and put him in his room.. (alone).. (without me on the floor next to him)..(crying) .. wow, i'm really clingy. (i read somewhere that when an adopted child has her own child, she tends to co-sleep and be a little overprotective, so that's what i'll blame it on.) He's been doing really well, he doesn't even mind it too much. The only problem is that he's waking up at least 3 times a night and i'm soooo tired. (i mean, this is the reason i put him in our bed in the first place..) but, i just have to deal with it. i feel like a new mommy. and this has really helped me decide.. do i really want another baby?? right now, no, i'm too tired.

Tagged by Kelly..

I AM: tired, jaron woke up before 6 this morning.
I WANT: the necklace that i wanted in the first place...(ok, almost done bitching)(see 2 previous posts)
I WISH: that children never got sick or hurt, for peace, that i had more friends here in texas, that jaron had some kids to play with, my friend maria could get pregnant.
I HATE: racism, people who hurt kids, loud cars and seafood.
I MISS: my friends in l.a., my dad, being 17, going out clubbing, austin, the 80's(i could go on and on..i'm in a bit of nostaglic phase right now..)
I FEAR: same as kelly, something bad happening to jaron, or him being left alone without me or bryan
I HEAR: chicken little (the movie) jaron likes watching it at least 50 times a day...
I WONDER: what happens to things.. like old toys, pictures, clothes, etc.
I REGRET: nothing..except, that i didn't become a rock star...
I AM NOT: good at cooking.. i hate it..i wish i could do it, but i can't.
I DANCE: with jaron all the time, he loves weird music just like me and he also loves rap..
I SING: terribly.
I CRY: lately at the "dumbo" advertisement before chicken little, it just kills me, the sad song, the fact that dumbo and his mother are split up and she is locked away.. stupid disney movies..
I AM NOT ALWAYS: the easiest to get along with.. (ask my hubby)
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: the bed, just kidding, i hardly ever do that. (i like cleaning, but that's pushing it.)
I WRITE: the songs that make the whole world sing.
I CONFUSE: directions, always, i never know where i'm going.. i've lived here off and on forever and still get turned around.
I NEED: a nap, a massage, money, help, it not to be so hot here, to lose 10 pounds or so, jaron to start eating normal food, sushi, saki, a night out.
I SHOULD: get off the computer and do something.. (it's just sooo hot.. YUCK)
I START: everything on time.
I FINISH: bryan's sentences and that drives him crazy!!!

now, i tag... KIM, MEG, JAMES

my friend said i had to post this..

ok...do these look like the same necklace? please see the below post as well..

why??????

i just received my necklace that my honey ordered for mother's day... (i've been wanting this exact necklace for a year)...and it's 100 times smaller than the picture. (slight exaggeration as i'm really pissed off) i mean, you can't even see it.. seriously.. it was almost $100.00.. one would think that it would be larger than a pin head. ugh.. so, i guess i'll have to send it back. this was the cheapest one they had. so, i'll either have to pay another 100 dollars, or shop elsewhere.. what a huge disappointment. i would post a picture, but you wouldn't be able to see it.
*me crying*

listen to this...

"Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off" by PANIC! AT THE DISCO
this is my favorite song off the new c.d. all songs are insane good, but this one.. i'm blogging about it..it's that good. (thanks india for burning this) and kelly, i think you would love it.(your profile music and mine are pretty much alike)

tattoo shops, motorcycle gangs, and 1 ex-con...

well, bryan and i finally got out friday night.. we didn't do much.. dinner, a couple of bars.. but it was just fun being out.. and staying up late..and sleeping in.
earlier in the day my friend robyn and i went looking at tattoos. i know what i want so, after finding a tatoo artist who understood what i want..(which is a lotus flower and flames in a kind of old sailor jerry tattoo style) when i asked how much.. he told me anywhere from $400-$700. well, i just can't do that. even if i save for it.. i'm not ever going to spend that much money on a tattoo. i was thinking $200 maybe even $250, but.. come on. so, i'll research it and shop around. i may have to go out of town. anyway, after that and dinner.. we went to a bar and met up with her friend stephanie, who is dating a guy that is actually in a motocycle gang. i think they prefer it called a "m.c" for motorcycle club., anyway.. then at the first bar, i got to talk with this guy mason.. we were good friends in high school, hung out in the same crowd. i haven't seen him in a few years. when we were in high school, he shot a teacher in the face. (he didn't die) and mason has been in jail forever. i've thought of him often.. and was so happy to see him. before you get the wrong idea.. i do not condone what mason did.. but i also understand why he did it.. the teacher was an asshole.. major.. he was my driving teacher and several times while driving alone with him, he put his nasty hands on my knee.. ugh gross, but i don't know what exactly what happened between them, but i do know that he made fun of mason on a daily basis. (he's supposed to teach..) and just because someone is an asshole, it doesn't mean they should be shot.. but, anyway...it was weird seeing him again. i saw him briefly after he was released a couple of years ago.. and he was having trouble getting a job.. so, i'm glad to hear he's gotten a chance to do some good with his life. fyi.. that "teacher" is still "teaching"! maybe he's changed as well.. let's hope so.. it's strange that a lot of people would be scared of the people we were with.. but honestly they were the sweetest people... you can't judge a book...
For mother's day.. jaron got me the sweetest card(i picked it out and bryan went and bought it :) ). and bryan got me this me&ro necklace that i've been wanting forever.. i'm so happy! i had a great mother's day!! bryan also let me sleep in.. :)
the necklace heart is engraved with "padma" /"lotus flower" in sanskrit. isn't it beautiful?? i have the best husband ever!!

party!

yesterday was my birthday.. it's so strange how the older you get.. it's just not a big deal.. no more huge parties.. staying up all night.. drinking until you throw up.. :) it's still good.. just different. my sweet husband got me a new cybershot digital camera that i've been wanting and the new hawthorne heights c.d. , but, then he had to work 10-10.. on my birthday.. that's just not right(doesn't his boss care??:)_). so, my friends dawn and terri took me to buns over texas.. (yes..india.. my buns are up), for those who don't know.. it's a hamburger place where they say "mindy(or your name here), your buns are up" when your food is ready. anyway, they had a cake, presents, and brought their c.d. player and were blaring nirvana.. how sweet is that? bryan has a 3 day weekend starting tomorrow.. (thank goodness) and mom has offered, (really i just asked if she would) to keep jaron one night this weekend so that we can go out.. really out.. not just to dinner.. but, out.. somewhere.. to get a drink or two.. :) and mother's day is sunday. so, i'm sure this weekend will be quite busy.. yah! here's a few pictures for you..
me and jaron from yesterday.. (no, i'm not 43, hahah terri and dawn, i'm 34) and another birthday picture.. this one of the whole family at jaron's 2nd birthday party a few months ago.. have a great weekend!!

oh, david, what have you done?

i used to have the biggest crush on him...

and then i just saw this picture of his hand on the green straw..and now, i'm just kind of grossed out. being underwater for 7 days.. that's just stupid.

future blogger...

i think i may be on the computer too much.. : )